My Read on Performative Males

Performative males. Spooky. Maybe some of you have heard of them, maybe some of you even attended the performative male contests that have been floating around (and if you have, I’m jealous). 

The term has been thrown around pretty loosely in my personal experience, so I felt the need to have a chat about it. I must preface this chat by saying that men do not need me to defend them or their behaviors (nor do I want to), but as someone who is passionate about letting people live their lives, I have mixed thoughts on the concept as a whole.

The core definition involves men who put on a façade of feminism and emotional sensitivity that does not align with their actual beliefs and behaviors—hence the “performing.” This façade typically serves to attract women by appearing like the emotionally mature hunk of a feminist man they think women want. 

Putting on a face to attract partners is not a new concept. Been there, done that, got a t-shirt. One of the key problems discussed with this phenomenon lies in the inauthentic and manipulative front used to win women over, but I think there is another problem that is less commonly discussed.

Why are we perpetuating reading as a feminine trait?

In 2022, the National Endowment for the Arts found that 46.9% of women read novels or short stories that year in comparison to 27.7% of men—the percentage of men who read those literary works that same year. NPR reported on an author in London who gave out free books and noted that while women were eager to receive the books, men were… not so eager. Discussing the causes for this reading gap would be opening a can of worms that I am not prepared to open, but I do want to say this: Reading will continue to be a hobby for “feminists” if we continue to shame the men who do like to enjoy a good Tolstoy, Hemingway, or gasp Austen.

Now, I love a goof as much as the next girl, so I am not trying to be a downer when I say we should use the term “performative males” sparingly. I am, however, imploring people to avoid labeling activities like  reading, drinking matcha, and wearing tote bags as traits exclusive to women, feminine men, or men wanting to impress women. The concept of "performative males equal bad" and "men reading equals performative male" could go round and round forever, and it will only serve to set us back from any progress made to de-genderize hobbies. 

Let’s not forget that “true” performative males are honestly just manipulative men seeking to gain validation from women through dishonesty—not the guy reading on the bench or the one listening to Clairo in his bedroom. 

Cover Image by: Hailey Hoffman for Block Club Chicago