Cat Hater, or Walking Red Flag?

I, and I'm sure many of you all reading this, love cats. They’re cute, playful, soft, and full of lovable personality. It's what draws me to cats. But for some people, that very personality might be the thing they find most egregious.

As a feline lover myself, I adore cats. And one important factor in building a relationship with a cat is how you treat them. Cats have their own mannerisms that demand their own corresponding actions. Are you holding your hand out for the cat to sniff first? Are you being gentle and backing off when they clearly express that they don’t want to be touched? Cats will let you know, believe me.

Now, in some circumstances, going beyond a cat’s boundaries is necessary if they are in need of help, or for some other valid reason. But touching a cat after they have shown discomfort is a clear sign of disrespecting their boundaries. Cats are animals that you must gain their trust, and maybe after some time they will open up to you. However, if they are still afraid of you, and you are aggressively forcing your affection on them then you’re only giving them more reason to fear you. The "lovable personality" is given no chance to emerge.

Hating cats or reacting negatively towards them often says more about a person than about cats themselves because what cats are are experts in setting boundaries. They communicate to people, and even to other animals, when they want attention and space. Is it beyond reason to say that people that don’t like cats may struggle with accepting these communication signs because they might have difficulty respecting boundaries? And that may include trouble in respecting your boundaries as well.

When a cat hisses, swats or walks away, they are setting limits on how you can interact with them. A person that brushes off these signals, or gets highly frustrated by them and their 'personalities' may also be someone that finds it difficult to respect personal boundaries in human relationships, or who has an unwillingness or inability to respect the lines in which people, or even animals draw.

Unlike many dogs who show unconditional affection and loyalty, cats often require continuous respect and reason to feel safe to have a connection with you, so it is important that you build their trust. When you value their boundaries, they will value their relationship with you and may treat you with affection. Otherwise, they may decide to walk out of your life, and into the house next door. Cats are quite decisive like that.

So instead of labeling cats as “horrible” or “mean,” maybe consider how you are treating them, and the kind of treatment it takes to build a relationship with one. Ask yourself how well you are treating others’ boundaries, and your own. Are you patient enough to allow trust to develop naturally? Are you capable of treating boundaries with respect? Are you willing to do what it takes to actually become a cat person?

Photo credit: Daga_Roszkowska from Pixabay